This is absolutely crazy. I'm crazy. Insane. Out of my mind. Sometimes, I get like this. I got like this in the summer. Everyday, I drove myself insane, and I feel it again. I feel it in my chest, like I can't breathe, but I'm breathing too deeply. Like my heart is beating too fast to accomplish anything. I don't know why I do this.

They say crazy people don't know they're crazy.

This photo was taken by John. :D
So, this is my first post in a whiiiiile. haha I really thought I would keep up with this. But lately, I've been coming home from school a chillin' like a villain. You know? Anyway, about this picture. This is my boyfriend and I, on Valentine's day. We're cool right? We don't go out. We get our pictures taken. lmao! I think the rest of this week will be dedicated to the pictures we took on this night.

About V-Day~~~ Everybody slept laaaaaate. haha! Then, we hung out for a while before Jacob had to go to work. And we slept some more haha. Such lazy people. Finally, later that night, we took a walk to Ling Ling's to get some grub. It was soooo cold and Vince kept telling me to run but my pants were too big! haha!! We ate in the living room, and then got our pictures taken. After that, we went into his room to watch a movie, but I passed out. haha! They tried to wake me up to tell me to get up (it was getting so laaaate~ I was so tiiired~).

It wasn't exceptionally romantic, and I know Vince wanted to do something more lovey-dovey, but I think just being together was good enough. I had so much fun just sitting around doing nothing. :] I see a wonderful future ahead of us, and a million awesome-amazing V-days to come.

I am tired. I miss my boyfriend. I don't feel good.

Today was good, but tonight is like... god. I don't freaking know. I usually talk to him for six hours a day and today, he lost his phone. So I haven't talked to him since 11:30 AM. This really, really sucks.

But this morning was amazing and beautiful and I haven't felt that good in a long, long time.

Today was pretty... okay, I guess. I feel so tired and lazy even though I haven't really had time to sit around and do nothing today. Which isn't to say I got anything done at all. But I feel like I've been running nonstop, doing this, doing that. Wash the dishes, vacuum the carpet, take the dogs out. I hate those dogs. Really. Am not exactly an animal person.

On top of all of those minuscule things, my mind has been so occupied today. I am very glad to say I don't think I have to worry about Vince for a while. He seemed very happy and relaxed today, which made me feel the same way while we were on the phone. Now I feel kind of busy again. I have two days to finish my eschool, but I think I can have my date extended because our teacher was out of the office and said not to send in anything until she was back. I guess I shouldn't worry about that. But what I'm starting to worry about is the fact that I'll be starting my fifth high school (transfered twice in sophomore year, and once in junior year, and now again) soon, just when I'm starting to make friends I really like at this school. The first semester kind of sucked, but I'm starting to settle in now. I have people I talk to in the hall and make jokes with and people who expect for me to sit with them at lunch. It's nice to feel accepted and wanted, because I haven't felt that at school in a while. But I'll make the best of my new school. It's a chance to meet MORE new people!

My friends Jessyca and Ben have started a challenge with me. Whoever can take the best picture today to show tomorrow is the winner. Problem is, I didn't take many today. I was so tired, I didn't really feel like it. Will probably try to throw together a set before bed. Hope I win!!

In pottery, I'm making a lily pad with a frog. Will take pictures tomorrow! I can't wait to throw that baby in the kiln and glaze it. It's going to be pretty hot. I've seen such an improvement in my pottery in just the last few weeks. What, in the beginning, took me an entire week to create, can take less than an hour now. I feel skilled and like what I'm making in this class is actual art, not just a grade. It's very empowering.

I never got to say anything about my weekend! I went to the boy's house (my favorite place to be in the entire world) and to my friend Katie's house. It was tre fun and I had the courage to try Rock Band after my epic failure at guitar hero. lmao, I'm so bad at that game, but I think I got the hang of rock band. The drums were so hard, though!!

Our heater broke yesterday and we all had to sleep in the living room with a couple of space heaters. The landlord came a fixed it today and now it's sooooo hot in here! But I guess I can't complain. At least I'm not freezing anymore.

It's 11:30 and I haven't felt this tired in a whiiiiile, so I'm going to go to bed. :] Good night, internets.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful.



The weather is still pretty crazy. It got kind of warm and most of the snow melted and, today, it snowed all over again. We'll probably still have school tomorrow, but I really hope not. We got out of school early today, but only by, like, twenty minutes, so it wasn't even worth it. Pretty bull crap.

My boyfriend is going through a lot of stressful stuff right now, and it makes me so worried, even though he tells me not to be. I'm just scared that when he really, really needs it, I won't know what to say to make him feel better. I always want to be able to make him smile, and I'm not sure if I can. But he says he'll be okay, so I'll trust him.

I'm working on a new song that has been in the making for the past three months. I hope to get it done by the end of the week so I can sing it for Vince on the weekend. Or maybe on Valentine's Day. :] I'm really excited for the fourteenth. This will be the first year I've had a boyfriend on v-day and not only is that exciting in itself, but he's also the first person I've ever felt this strongly about. I'm glad I was kind of a player until now. I was with a lot of people (not sexually, duh!), but none of them made me happy. I told Vince it was a good thing I had my heart broken by a few jerks before him because then I wouldn't know what it felt like to be treated so good. It'd just be the usual to me. I don't need to be treated like a princess. Vince is never nice to me (lmao, ily), but he honest to god loves me and I honest to god love him back and that's all I need.

Wow. Lovey-dovey post. Whoops. Comments still don't work, but I can't figure out why for the life of me. If you have any advice, hit me up on msn. carizzlemynizzle@hotmail.com :] Thanks!!

Well, it's one in the morning so... good night/morning. Talk to you fine internets later.